.s o u l.

my life. my rant. i write.
welcome. whatever.
you get to read some.
you get to learn some.
i get to write.

you are desperate.
i am desperate.
we get to accept that as life

web counter


.a n g e l.

once upon a time, an angel was sent to earth. she didn't like humans. she despised them. so one day, god gave her a soul and took her wings. she suddenly felt hatred, loathe, anger, pain and suffering. she prayed to god to take her soul and give her back her wings. but god told her, "learn to be a human, and you will be an angel again. i will give you back your wings, and take you back to heaven. but you have to accept how it is to be human first." so the angel lived a lifetime on earth. she realized that being a human is better than being an angel. so one day, when god finally took her to judgement, she pleaded to let her live another life on earth. "it doesn't matter if i no longer have my wings, or if i can no longer experience eternal happiness. learning to sacrifice is what has given meaning to my life now." god immediately broke into a smile. he gave the angel back her wings, but also gave her a soul.

.i n t r o.

You are my all my everything
You are the light when the dark closes in


.d i s t r a c t i o n s.

as if you don't know already...
.jaika.jae.jake.leejinhae.kimmie.
.super junior addict.
.dong bang shin gi addict.
.ISAK and EVAN fangirl.
.jaejoong .junsu.
.k-pop.TOHO.




.links:

♥ Cinderella
♥ SE W910i

♥ Siberian Husky
♥ jaejoong's cooler
♥ T-Concert DVD
♥ that Tohoshinki Black Shirt
♥ DBSG character shirts

♥ flats
♥ JanSport backpack
♥ Hancock tickets
♥ Batman premiere tickets
♥ dakki pillows
♥ TITUS wrist watch band
--not TITUS, though ♥ external hard disk 100++GB
♥ credit card

♥ Hero-Style cross earrings
♥ Xiah-Style earrings
♥ Yehsung-style headphones pendant

.d y s l e x i c.

♥Music♥

.bed time stories.

||♥|| Sweet Melancholy
||♥|| The Underground
||♥|| The Gangster Prince ongoing
||♥|| Presidential Daughter: It's A Beautiful Thing ongoing
||♥|| Classroom Diaries
||♥|| Lost In A Trance:CD II
||♥|| Beach House ongoing

.s u g a r d r o p.

|| March 2007 ||
|| April 2007 ||
|| May 2007 ||
|| June 2007 ||
|| July 2008 ||
|| August 2008 ||
|| September 2008 ||
|| October 2008 ||
|| December 2008 ||


.t i t l e s.

My Wishlist for '08
Hi! I'm your Poring Friend!
The Gods Are Back
aaron yoo
school enrollment. *bow*
Spazz on TVXQ!
Pops in Seoul 1000th Episode
K-pop Party in Manila
Red Shirt
On Being a Fangirl


.e x t e r n a l s.

lady lucks
|| dan || gerty ||

cyber
||jenn ||
|| marga || nadz ||
|| edline || jhocel || khleine ||



.t a l k s.




.credits:

[FONTS DaFont]
[CODES fern*]
[LAYOUT DESIGN Lavendertutu]


Tuesday, June 12, 2007

a misunderstanding

I don’t really understand what’s running through your mind right now, but I feel more humiliated than ever. I don’t understand a single feeling in my heart right now. I don’t want to hurt you, but what I’m doing now hurts you more than what I want to avoid. Hurting you hurts me more.

You are my friend, and I never wanted to hurt you. What is it about you that I cannot seem to forget? We are on separate schools now, after 5 years you’ll finally learn how to love another girl.

I want to cry right now but I just can’t. My visions for not liking you hinders me to let out what I really feel. I admit that I don’t want to like you. I admit that things can never work out between the two of us if I’m like this. Please forgive me, and I will never bother you again.

This blog has witnessed everything I wanted to say, everything I wanted everyone to see.


i'm so damned and pissed off i can't write anymore.

over a cup of coffee @ 8:39 PM




Thursday, June 7, 2007

a happy girl -- a dream so weird

talk about me being anything but happy...

i just dropped in to say that speed racer is back, so my dad's back as well!

so, back to my title.. i had a dream last night.. well, everybody dreams every night! it's just that my dream involved someone new in my life... a person i met for only a few weeks...

he's name is ---- ------. i can't expose his identity here, 'cause he's not the kind of guy i'll really have the hots for.. well, i do like him.. he's someone special for me...

well, about the dream, it's kinda embarrassing actually... instead of dancing a sweet dance, it became a really HOT dance. a DISCO dance.

kill me if i'm lying, but hell, i don't go to discos! my first and last disco was when we had our parents' night, and that was only a mild disco dancing where each and everyone of my batchmates kind of enjoyed! and no, i was not that wild. i only laughed and danced to a bit of music!!

so anyway... back to this dream of mine again... i just have to share this, but i really love it when he's smiling and stuff like that... it feels like i'm becoming breathless when i see him flash that smile i love!

he's not a very typical guy... when it comes to talking to girls, he's more of the shy type.. but back in my dream, we were talking animatedly!

sometimes, people say.. well most of the time, they say that a dream is the opposite of reality.. well, figuratively and literally, i guess..

in that dream, both of us were happy... both of us were enjoying ourselves.. does that mean, that what i dreamt of last night will never happen? does that mean that, he will never look at me, no more than his anthrop groupmate? someone whose face is familiar because she sits diagonally behind him in matapre class?

or someone whom he can also love and share his happiness with?

JUN. a bitch has been crazy about you. this bitch is not giving up, until you realize her importance.

JUN. watch out. because i'm deathly coming.

over a cup of coffee @ 5:47 PM